DECISIONS & FRUSTRATION

My desk calendar at work has a quote on it today that helped me re-evaluate my frustrations.

I don’t really care if my glass
is half full or half empty -
I’m just happy to have a glass.
- Joe Farrell

I had been trying to decide whether to have a mastectomy or lumpectomy and if mastectomy, one breast or both, reconstruction or not. Well, last week while I was receiving chemo therapy I heard another patient telling the volunteer who works there that she had finished all her treatment 5 months ago and thought everything was fine but had recently had a PET scan which indicated that the cancer was back and she was having the hardest time knowing she had to go through chemo all over again. Her cancer was not breast, but after hearing her story, I decided that I am going to have a mastectomy of just the left breast. Reconstruction or not is something I still need to decide. I feeling really good and peaceful about the decision.
Now for the frustration, you might recall that a few weeks ago I could not receive the chemo therapy because my white blood cell count was too low. I was disappointed because that put me a week behind. WELL, this past Tuesday the count was too low again! But this time the doctor said to come back today and if the count was high enough I could have chemo. Thankfully, it was high enough (barely) and I was able to get my dose of chemical! (Kind of funny to want that) The doctor talked like this might be happening more frequently now. DARN IT! I have five more chemo treatments to go, but if we have to keep spreading them further apart, it could take up to 10 weeks. Guess I get to work on being patient and letting GOD be in control.